Dear Ruben,

Let me start by saying that you were right and I was wrong. You were smart and I was stupid. You were handsome and I was, quite frankly, looking like hell.

I had been furious at you since December. When you dealt Cliff Lee to the Mariners for three stiffs, I ripped you and the franchise a new one. And it didn’t stop there. Any time the Phils started slumping, or Lee started pitching well, or when quite frankly we were just in a pissy mood and wanted to displace some anger, BMT or I would tear you a new one, talk about how you had hosed the fans. Since you knew the games were going to sell out anyway, our story went, you could take advantage of our loyalty by dumping Cliff Lee off at the bargain bin and save yourself and ownership a few duckets.

Then, when the whole first half of the season was spent watching a punchless Phils team struggle, and watch Joe Blanton completely fall to pieces in a #3 spot that would have been Lee’s, our frustration and fury really reached a fever pitch. A mere two weeks ago, I said that it was time to write the season off. And that was BEFORE the disastrous Midwest road wing through Chicago and St. Louis.

But you did not give up. You did not throw in the towel. You went out and got a pitcher who, while may not be quite as good as Lee, is pretty damn close. Furthermore, while there was no chance that we were going to get Lee back after this year, we will get Oswalt back next year, guaranteed. In other words, we got one of the Top 12 pitchers in baseball for two pennant chases instead of one. And you got him for our #4 pitcher and bag of peanuts. There is nothing I can say besides brilliant. You showed all the signs of a good GM: you were patient, you were shrewd, and you capitalized on your previous relationships, in this case one with Ed Wade. The fact that you were somehow able to do all of this without needing to get rid of Jayson Werth is astounding.

I am still hearing people crying about Cliff Lee. Speaking as someone whose mancrush on Lee kept me despondent from the day he left until, oh, around 1 p.m. yesterday, I am here to say: Get over it. What’s done is done. The Phillies now have three of the best pitchers in baseball. Despite being completely snakebitten by injury, they are a mere 2.5 games out of first. Now is not the time to whine. I appreciate everything Lee did for this franchise, but do yourself a favor and take a look at Oswalt’s career numbers. They are better than Lee’s. And that’s our #3 pitcher, folks. If you can look at the Phils starting pitching rotation, and still find something to whine about, well then quite frankly you should just become a Rangers fan. As Norman Dale says in Hoosiers, “I would hope you would support who we are, not who we are not.”

Ruben, I fully support who we are, and I appreciate you busting your butt to get this deal done, the fact that you somehow keep Werth on the squad, and made us once again a top contender for the Series. All is forgiven, and I hope you can forgive us for busting your balls so hard these past few months. You are a genius, sir. An absolute genius. (Unless Oswalt pitches poorly tonight, in which case I can’t believe you were dumb enough to let Cliff Lee go.)

Yours truly,

Johnny Goodtimes

For the past week I have been working my brains out trying to find out fun facts about all 32 NFL teams for Comcast. It’s part of their insanely comprehensive Training Camp Reports. If you want to really know what you’re talking about when football season opens, I would highly recommend this stuff. If you just want to know your Eagles, go here. It is intense.

I thought some of you football geeks and trivia buffs would enjoy my contribution. Basically, I just tried to find out weird and wild stuff about each franchise. I’ll send you to fun facts on each team, divided by division. Today, we’ll start with the AFC West. Click on a team to find out 3 fun facts you probably didn’t know about them.

AFC East

Miami Dolphins

New England Patriots

Buffalo Bills

New York Jets

Espn.com is reporting that Roy Oswalt has agreed to be traded to the Phillies. The Astros will receive J.A. Happ and two prospects in return for Oswalt. Making the deal even sweeter for the Phillies is the fact that the Astros will pay almost half of what Oswalt is due through the 2011 season.

This deal has to be considered a big win for the Phillies, much in the same way the Angels got the better part of the Dan Haren trade. There doesn’t appear to be too much of a downside for the Phils in this one; the only question that jumps out is where to insert Oswalt in the rotation. You can check out Oswalt’s career stats here. Now if the Phillies can do something about the bullpen, they may be around in October. Complimenti, Rueben.

My Phillies hat saved me a cool 50 cents at Subway today on my $5 footlong. But even better than the deal for wearing Phillies gear is the small type at the bottom of the sign by the cash register: Yankees and Mets fans are subject to an additional 15% upcharge at our discretion.

In other words, a $5 foot long is going to run about $5.75 for Parsnip and Palestra Jon.

It sounds like Oswalt is going to OK the deal, according to Jayson Stark (who also wonders why in the hell the Phillies let Cliff Lee go in the first place). Needless to say, we will have more on this as it develops, but in the meantime, you should check out Oswalt’s stats with the Astros. Believe it or not, Oswalt has a lower career ERA, a lower career WHIP, and more strikeouts per 9 Innings than Cliff Lee. And since these two pitchers will now be compared to each other forever in Philly, you might as well check out Lee’s career stats too.

I’m extremely busy with some writing assignments that actually pay money, but I’ll leave you with plenty to read. These are all things I’ve read recently that I highly recommend.

This story about Todd Marinovich was written last year in Esquire. An amazing history of sex, drugs, and NFL football.

Just read this 1986 article on former Colts owner Bob Irsay and am passing it along because it appears that Irsay is one of the most despicable human beings to ever walk the earth.

An article about the lifting of the NFL blackout rule in 1973 causing a furor starts with a pretty funny story about Leonard Tose and Mickey Rubin, Philadelphia’s “Carpet King”.

While all about him other NFL owners moaned and groaned, Leonard Tose was losing his head. Enraged at the new Federal law prohibiting the NFL from blacking out events sold out 72 hours before game time, Tose, the president of the Philadelphia Eagles, announced last week that for this Sunday’s home game against the Washington Redskins he would put on sale 376 ground-level seats with views so badly obstructed that, he confided wickedly, “I gave 50 of the tickets to charities for one game and even they didn’t use them.” The idea was that the obstructed seats would go unsold and the Eagles, by averting a sellout, would still have their blackout.

But Tose reckoned without one Mickey Rubin, whose ex-wife Betsy was named the other woman by Tose’s wife in a well-publicized legal separation two years ago. Rubin is also Philadelphia‘s self-styled “Carpet King,” a promotion-minded entrepreneur always looking for ways to publicize his broadlooms. He came up with a scheme of his own—what might be called Rubin’s Revenge. He decided to buy every last one of Tose’s obstructed seats and, having forced a blackout-lifting sellout, to take out full-page newspaper ads proclaiming “Rubin’s Discount Carpeting buys out the stadium. Stay home and watch the Eagles and Redskins compliments of Rubin’s.”

When a Rubin emissary arrived at the box office with a blank check, Eagle officials refused to sell. “I won’t be a party to some cheap publicity stunt,” Tose snapped. Still, the Carpet King had pulled the rug out from under Tose, who at week’s end was no longer quibbling about obstructed seats. “The Redskin game will be a sellout,” the owner said dispiritedly. “It’ll be on TV.”

Despite Brad Lidge’s best efforts, the Phillies have won 4 games in a row. Sunday’s win completed a 4-game sweep at Citizens Bank Park against a Colorado team that does not play well on the road. Of all the teams in baseball with winning records, only the Detroit Tigers have fewer road wins (16) than the Rockies (20). And Brad Lidge recorded two saves in his last couple outings but in doing so he gave up 4 hits, 4 walks, and 2 earned runs on 64 pitches in two innings. This Phillies team is remarkably inconsistent, remarkably flawed and yet they find themselves only 3 games out of the N.L. wild card spot.

Marc Stein from the TMI blog took note of the Phillies sweep of the Rockies and came up with some interesting stuff. The Phillies have won 8 straight home games, their longest home winning streak since 1991. Their staff ERA during this home winning streak has been a remarkable 2.10 and has featured three shutouts. With the Diamondbacks coming to town for a 3-game set, the Phillies have a great chance to put a significant stretch of home wins together and get themselves right back into the thick of things.

The Phils have now recorded four straight wins, and they’ve actually gotten a few hits lately. Apparently the firing of Milt woke this team up a little bit. However, there is a still a long row to hoe. And before you get too excited, keep in mind that we thought that sweeping the Reds before the All Star break was going to ignite the squad. But enough talk about facts. Let’s talk rumors. Here’s all the Roy Oswalt (left with hot wife Nicole) news that’s fit to print:

Todd Zolecki says that the Phils might be trading for Oswalt and still holding onto Werth.

The Examiner says that the Astros were looking at Happ’s start yesterday, and that the Phils are still looking to move Werth to Tampa or San Fran so that the Stros will make the deal.

Atlanta is certainly hoping that the Phils don’t get Oswalt.

Everybody says that the Phils need hitting, and that the starting pitching is fine. Not so. Get this: the combined ERA of Kendrick, Moyer, and Blanton is 5.19.

Pros and cons of an Oswalt deal.

The Phillies play as of late has been nothing short of inspiring. I can’t remember the last time I was so inspired to jump off a bridge. Nonetheless, jumping off a bridge is not something to be taken lightly.

The impact is tremendous. The body goes from roughly 75 to 80 mph to nearly zero in a nanosecond. The physics of inertia being what they are, internal organs tend to keep going. The force of impact causes them to tear loose. Autopsy reports typically indicate that the jumpers have lacerated aortas, livers, spleens and hearts. Ribs are often broken, and the impact shoves them into the heart or lungs. Jumpers have broken sternums, clavicles, pelvises and necks. Skull fractures are common.

Therefore, we are going to have to encourage our readers to wait at least until the trade deadline before taking such a drastic step. Just because this Oswalt deal is dead doesn’t mean you have to be. The Phils are still looking at Dan Haren. Besides, training camp at Lehigh starts soon. And hey, it could be worse. You could be in Cleveland.